A language of life

Nonviolent Communication

We are discovering ways of connecting with what is alive in ourselves and in other beings — by living them and learning together. Through this work we have come to value:

The value pairs

  1. Reverence for life habit and convention
  2. Protective use of force retribution and enemy images
  3. Power-with coercion and indifference
  4. Quality of connection verdicts and resignation
  5. Choice to contribute demands and obligations

Cards for reflection

One question at a time. Breathe, take a card, and let the answer arrive at its own pace.

  1. Link to this card

    Reverence for life

    Choose an animal or person you would never consider on any other day. What does this being need right now? What would you habitually not look for?

  2. Link to this card

    Protective use of force

    Imagine stopping harm with the least force that works. What in you must stay quiet so force stays protective? What must stay awake?

  3. Link to this card

    Power-with all beings

    Recall someone sharing power with you when they didn't have to. What became possible in you? What might become possible if you did the same?

  4. Link to this card

    Quality of connection

    Think of a conversation you gave up on. Beneath the 'why bother,' is a longing still alive? What did you stop asking for?

  5. Link to this card

    Choice to contribute

    Take a long-carried obligation. If it lifted completely, what would you mourn? What would you celebrate? What would you choose again, freely?

Read it slowly. Breathe. Let the answer come.

Lineage and acknowledgements

Illustration of Marshall Rosenberg holding the giraffe and the jackal hand puppets

Illustration by Diyah Ayu P.

In memoriam

Marshall B. Rosenberg

1934 – 2015

"Power-Over leads to punishment and violence. Power-With leads to compassion and understanding, and to learning motivated by reverence for life rather than fear, guilt, shame, or anger." Everything on this page grows out of this statement.

With thanks to

The Manifesto for Agile Software Development

The shape of this page — pairs of values, and a closing line that refuses to throw the right-hand side away — is borrowed from the Agile Manifesto (2001).